xHeartbeatx
by AudgerDodger
Summary: "Tell me now and do not lie. I'm quite curious... do you even have a heart?" First fanfiction... Slight Yaoi/Shonen-ai, nothing extreme though X3 Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Hai! X3 This is my first Kuroshitsuji fanfic (actually my first fanfic in general.) If you find the time to review and rate, that would be greatly appreciated, since I would really like the opportunity to improve my writing based on your opinions! Also, I'm a huge stickler for spelling/grammar, so if you see something I misspelled or miss-punctuated, do feel free to point it out and I shall fix that sucker! One more thing, since I'm new to this site, any tips or suggestions and stuff like that would also be greatly appreciated, since I would like to provide the best fan-ficcy entertainment to you as I possibly can! Second chapter already written, I'm just going to see how this one goes before posting it. I will try to be as consistent as my insane schedule will allow me to be. XD I hope you enjoy it~!**

**P.S This fanfiction has slight yaoi/shonen-ai, but nothing too extreme. It is meant to be sweet, not sour, if you know what I am referring to;D**

* * *

x~Heartbeat~x

Ciel scuffed his shoes into the carpeted floor of his office while pouting at his desk. Try as he might, he could not concentrate on the mound of papers in front of him. Something was bothering the young Earl. Ciel glanced up from the finely furnished desk when he heard a small rap at the door.

"Come in," the boy mumbled, barely audible. In fact, it was so inaudible that no human ear could have picked it up. But the man who entered was no human. The tall, serious man with jet black hair and flawless skin glided into the room. In his hand he sported a silver tray with assorted dishes, from which Ciel selected a small blackberry tart. The blue-haired boy let out a small sigh.

"Is something the matter Young Master?" Sebastian questioned, seemingly concerned. "Was the pastry not satisfactory?"

"No, the tart was fine… it's just... honestly, I'm not sure." Ciel answered, blushing slightly. "I can't explain it. I feel like there's something supposed to be, something that will inevitably happen, but I can't for the life of me figure out what." When Ciel realized what he had said, his face flushed an adorable shade of pink, which made Sebastian smirk. "Never mind, it's silly. I have paperwork to do, and I believe you have tasks you should be completing as well," the young Earl explained dismissively.

"Actually, it's about time for your violin lesson. Maybe it'll help take your mind off of things." Sebastian held out his arm. "Shall we?" Ciel ignored the gesture and strutted past Sebastian, who followed behind.

As Ciel played, Sebastian directed him. They were perfectly in sync, perfectly together. A foreign thought crept into the demon's mind. "_What if this was what Ciel was talking about? What if what he feels he needs is—" _His thoughts were interrupted by a terrible screeching noise erupting from Ciel's violin. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows. "Well done this week, Young Master. You've improved greatly. The only thing you need to work on for this piece is that last note." Sebastian smirked at Ciel, who lowered his head in response. The young boy gathered his violin and packed it into his case. Ciel started across the room heading toward the door, which Sebastian was already holding open for him. Suddenly, Ciel collided with a music stand, making him lose his footing and slam into Sebastian, who toppled over as well. Before he even realized it, Ciel was on top of Sebastian, their lips together. Ciel's heart pounded in his throat as he jumped away from the demon. The black-clad butler stood up nonchalantly, dusted himself off, and offered his hand to a startled Ciel, still sitting on the floor. Ciel once again ignored Sebastian's gesture and hastily marched out the door.

Sebastian was left in the music room, alone with his thoughts. "_As wrong as it may be," _He thought to himself. "_I think I'm falling in love with the little brat. But what am I saying? I'm supposed to eat his soul. He's human. I'm demon. I'm predator. He's prey. It would never last."_ Sebastian sighed and combed his long, bony fingers through his luscious hair. So many thoughts were rushing through his mind like wind on an October day. He couldn't think straight. Finally, he mumbled, "I wonder how Bocchan is dealing with this little accident. I should probably go talk to him."

Ciel was sitting at his desk, clutching his hair, his teeth gritted. "Damn it," He groaned. "Damn it, Damn it, Damn it, DAMN IT!" He folded his arms on his desk and plunked his head onto them, exasperated. For the first time in a while, he wanted to cry. He was so humiliated.

"Don't stress about it, Young Master." Ciel whipped his head up from his arms to see his faithful butler standing in the doorway with a teasing expressing about his face. When Ciel just lowered his head again, Sebastian hurried over and crouched down next to Ciel. "Honestly Bocchan, there's nothing to be ashamed of. It was a very decent kiss," He whispered into the boy's ear. Ciel felt the humiliation and anger boil up inside him. But yet, there was something else there, too. Did he actually… _enjoy _the brief kiss? Ciel shunned the thought in disgust. Sebastian distracted Ciel from his thoughts by sliding his index finger underneath his chin and tilting his head up. Ciel couldn't stand it anymore.

"I need to know," Ciel whispered. "What the HELL is going on." Sebastian chuckled, still holding Ciel's porcelain face in his gloved hands.

"I could be wrong, but… I think there may be something brewing between us," the demon purred.

"MISTER SEBASTIAN!" Finnian barged into the study, ruining the moment. Sebastian swiftly returned to a standing position and brushed his hair out of his face. "What has happened this time, Finnian?" Sebastian sighed.

"I… WAHHH!" Another enormous sob erupted from the young boy. "I accidentally *sniff* ruined the garden again, Mister Sebastian." The gardener went on blubbering pathetically. "I'M SO SOOOORY!"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and mumbled, "Well that's quite troublesome, considering we have a very important guest arriving at four this evening, and it's precisely two-thirty at the moment. How inconvenient."

"I'M SOOOORY!" Finny wailed again, clinging to Sebastian's waist. The pitiful sight made Sebastian slightly annoyed.

"_What a display. It would almost be laughable, if it weren't so utterly annoying. This is quite why humans are wretched, yet graceful. Simple, yet complicated. Obvious, yet mysterious. The latter of each pairing is what makes up the Young Master, I believe. Graceful, complicated, mysterious. The boy isn't too terribly hard to read, but he does try his best to hide it, to keep his pride and dignity intact. This mixture, including all the melancholy pain and bittersweet sorrow welling within him, make up the ultimate recipe for the soul I would give up anything to devour."_

Sebastian responded to the wailing boy at his feet. "Well, what's done is done so I'll have to repair it, per usual. I shall return shortly." Sebastian threw a secretive wink toward Ciel and glided out of the room. As soon as the butler and servant were out of sight, Ciel lowered his head to the desk and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about anything or do anything, especially that damned paperwork. All he wanted to do was sleep. Slowly, slowly, and then all at once, he drifted.

In the sensitive chamber of the young Earl's subconscious mind, he was doing a great deal of thinking. Those thoughts transformed themselves into a visual fantasy; into a dream. In this subconscious state, Ciel was lying on the ground. He felt the ground and discovered there was grass. He let the green blades slip between his fingers as he ran his delicate hand along the ground. His other hand was gripped tightly around an object. Ciel rolled onto his side, to see that he was looking straight into the seducing, sinister eyes of none other than his butler. They were holding hands, lying in a field. Ciel locked gaze with the enchanting ruby eyes, feeling his heart speed up. The pleasant breeze tousled their hair into their faces. Eventually, they sit up and Sebastian pulls Ciel into his lap, kissing his neck. Ciel blushes and playfully pushes him away. "Sebastian," the blue hair boy uttered ever so quietly, with an intensity that gave the demon goosebumps.

"Yes, my lord?" The demon inquired.

"That time I said I would never lose my hatred… I meant it. But I feel like I've gained something as well."

"Is that so?" Sebastian smirked. "Do tell."

Slightly more serious, Ciel looked his butler dead in the eyes. "Tell me now and do not lie. I'm quite curious… do you even have a heart?"

"Listen," the demon pulled the boy to his chest.

"I—"

Sebastian's face suddenly adorned a confused expression. "Young Master? Young Master? Can you hear me? It's time to wake up, Young Lord."

* * *

Ciel jolted awake. "Sorry my Lord, I did not intend to startle you, but our guest will be here on the hour. Ciel nodded his head sleepily, then shot Sebastian a quizzical expression.

"What are you smirking about, demon? It looks as though you can barely contain yourself," Ciel scowled.

Sebastian smirked knowingly. "Well, if you must know, you were talking in your sleep, and it was a rather cute thing you were saying."

Ciel's face flushed. "Are you going to tell me what I said or are you just going to stand there and tease me about it?" the young boy spat irritably.

"I don't know," Sebastian played. "Why should I tell you? Maybe I should keep it as my own little secret."

"Sebastian, tell me what I said and that's an ORDER, DAMNIT!" Ciel barked.

"You kept saying my name," the demon grinned. "May I ask what you were dreaming about?"

"It's none of your bloody business," Ciel growled.

Suddenly, Sebastian was standing over him, hands placed firmly on the desk. He bent lower and whispered into the Earl's ear flirtatiously. "By the way, we have a little conversation that we need to finish. So why don't you tell me what is on that stubborn little mind of yours, Bocchan?"

A sharp slap was administered across the butler's face, dealt by the young boy himself. "Mind your place, demon," he snapped. Sebastian stood up straight. "My apologies, Young Lord," he deadpanned. The butler pivoted and began to stride from the room.

"Wait, Sebastian." The young boy had an apologetic glint in his eye. "I'll tell you what's on my mind… if you tell me what's on yours first. You're always so mysterious and misleading. If we're going to do this, then I have to know if you'll be consistent."

"I don't mean to sass you, Master, but I'm not being the misleading one here," Sebastian cocked an eyebrow, a playful smirk dancing on the edge of his lips. "Anyway, I don't think it matters, since chances are we are thinking the same thing. But if it makes you more comfortable, than I shall tell you what's on my mind first." The demon cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Cats," he said dreamily, suddenly looking out the window.

"Well that's certainly not what I had on my mind."

"My apologies, Young Master. If it makes you feel any better, you're cuter than any of them."

"How dare you compare me to one of those mangy, parasite-covered—"

"Please Lord, let me continue. I'll never mention them again in your presence, if that's what you wish."

"No," Ciel mumbled almost inaudibly. "if it's something that makes you happy Sebastian, then I won't deprive you of your fancy to them. Just as long as they don't set foot in my mansion. I have terrible allergies, you know."

"We're getting a bit off topic," Sebastian chuckled. "Alright, listen Ciel." The way his actual name rolled off Sebastian's tongue was enchanting. Sebastian gently cupped Ciel's face in his gloved hand. "This may sound quite cheesy," he chuckled. "But it's the truth. You have awakened something in me that I have never felt before in my existence. It's some kind of lustful affection that will not cease, a craving that will not subside. It is not simply a soul being obsessively pursued by a demon. It's everything about you that can bring about such feelings in me, or any feelings at all to be precise." He chuckled. "I need to know how you feel, Ciel."

Ciel was stunned, and he could feel his face getting hot. He did not know where to start with his response. Truth be told, he had in fact without accepting it fully until now, fallen for the mysterious butler quite some time ago. But of course he couldn't admit that! He wanted to, he ached to tell Sebastian that his heartbeat quickened whenever even the thought of the him entered his mind. Ciel had these feelings for Sebastian, but at the same, he was already betrothed to Lizzy. If he admitted it, he would mess everything up. Ciel always thought it best to go with the flow. But yet, he felt a nagging urge inside of him to dare…

* * *

**Wooo! Done~ Again, reviews and such would be greatly appreciated! I don't have much self confidence in the first place, so it would be awesome to receive voice and opinion on how you think my work is, even if you think it sucks! :D Hope to see you in the next chappie!~ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo~! Here's chapter 2 of my first fanfiction~! Sorry if it's a bit short... I actually intended to combine this chapter and chapter 1 together, but I didn't :3 I hope you enjoy it! Reviews would be greatly appreciated since I am still learning and love constructive criticism!:)**

**~Warning~ There's a bit of fluff, more shonen-ai than full-blown yaoi. As much as I love.. uh, you know XD I don't think I would be able to handle writing it. But this is cute enough, I suppose :p**

* * *

In the midst of his thoughts, Ciel realized he had left his butler hanging. "Um… I.. don't know how to respond." Ciel hesitantly answered. Sebastian's face dropped, all the heartfelt emotion that was there before suddenly vanished. Ciel registered this as hurt, and panicked. "But I agree!" He quickly redeemed himself. In a slightly quieter voice, he added, "I feel the same way." Sebastian smirked, then slowly gently, placed his lips on the boy's. Sebastian hugged him close, moving his hands to the small of Ciel's petite back. Ciel slid his thin arms unconfidently around Sebastian's neck, standing on his tip-toes.

_ "What if I'm not doing this right?" _Ciel worried. _"I've never actually… kissed someone like this before." _ Before he could stop it, his foot popped. _"Damn!" _ He scolded himself in his thoughts.

_"How cute," _ Sebastian thought. Suddenly, Ciel broke the kiss. "Now that should have been our first kiss," Sebastian whispered to a blushing Ciel.

* * *

"CIEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL!" the "very important guest" shrieked. Ciel cringed in preparation for Lizzie's powerful embrace. Sebastian watched from across the room as Ciel struggled to pry Elizabeth from him, and chuckled. He exited into the kitchen, retrieved the evening tea, and returned back into the foyer.

"Young master, your tea is ready, and dinner is being prepared as we speak. Should we like to set you two up in the dining room?" Ciel responded with a sharp nod of the head. Sebastian smiled and led the young pair into the next room. Sebastian slid the chair out from under the table and gestured for Lizzie to sit. She grinned up at him.

"Thank you, Sebastian!" she beamed in her unbearably squeaky voice. Sebastian bowed in response, and then went to seat his Young Master. Just as Ciel was about to sit, Sebastian "accidentally" pulled the chair out from underneath him. Ciel glared up at his butler, the way a damp cat would glare at its owner. Sebastian just grinned out from him, barely containing his laughter, and offered his hand.

"Damn you," Ciel mumbled, taking the demon's gloved hand. Ciel was pulled from the ground and gently set in his chair.

"Pardon me, it seems the dinner is ready. I shall return shortly." When Sebastian was gone, Lizzie started in.

"Well it seems like Sebastian's in a good mood today" she grinned. "It's good to see him like this. It's so out of character for him since he's always kind of gloomy, don't you think?" Ciel just grimaced.

"Maybe he encountered a cat or two earlier. He's absolutely wild about those fleabags," he spat.

"Actually, if you keep a feline properly groomed, there's a good chance it will in fact _not_ get fleas." Sebastian debated, entering the room with a sly smile playing about his lips. The butler set a large, covered tray in front of the couple. "Tonight's dinner is a supple roasted pig, complimented by—"

"MISTER SEBASTIAN!" Came a wild howl, followed by a deafening crash. Sebastian put his hand to his face in irritation as he heard the ditzy maid screech in panic.

"I do apologize, I'm afraid I have to leave for a moment," Sebastian deadpanned. "Do enjoy." Ciel couldn't help but smirk at the amusing sight of his butler's annoyance.

"So Lizzy," Ciel chirped, munching on a bit of roasted pig. "What brings you here, exactly?"

"Well actually," Lizzie replied shyly. "I wanted to…" Lizzie suddenly leaned across the table and kissed Ciel right on the lips. Ciel's eyes widened in horror as he saw Sebastian re-enter the room.

"_NO!" _ He screamed in his mind. "Lizzie! What the hell are you doing?"

Lizzie pulled back, tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to trickle down her face and stain her beautifully tailored dress. "I'm sorry Ciel," she whimpered. "I just thought, well…" She stood up swiftly and fled the room sobbing.

"Young Master… is everything alright?"

"Sebastian… I didn't want to kiss her… she kissed me." He stood up, head hanging. "But now I've hurt her."

Sebastian walked calmly toward him. "Young Master, she _is_ your fiancé—"

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" Ciel interrupted. "The only one I love and have always loved and will ever love is YOU!" Ciel stopped, face reddening with realization of what he just revealed. He tried quickly to cover himself up. "That is, as much as I can with love being a trivial thing and all…"

"Is that so?" Sebastian purred, cupping Ciel's tender face in his hands. He grinned at Ciel, then suddenly swept him off of the ground and into his arms.

"What the hell?" An embarrassed Ciel squirmed, desperately trying to escape his butler's arms. Sebastian only chuckled and kissed his forehead.

"You only make yourself cuter when you try to escape, you know," He winked. "Now let's go make up with Lady Elizabeth."

Lizzie was in the foyer, sobbing. "I don't know what came over me… I should have asked him first… I didn't think he's get so angry…we are ENGAGED after all!"

"Lizzie, are you in here?" Ciel entered the room, while Sebastian observed the situation from the doorway.

"Ciel, I-I'm so sorry!" Lizzie erupted into yet another series of ever-dramatic wails and sobs.

"Lizzie darling, calm down!" Ciel hushed, and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm not angry, I was just surprised, that's all. But I really don't think I'm ready for that kind of relationship with you yet. We're still young. There's no need to rush." And with that, he planted a soft kiss on her cheek, moist with tears.

"I'm sorry, Ciel. Do you think we could forget about this?" she replied, hugging him close.

"Absolutely. But really, there's no need to be ashamed, it was a very decent kiss," he stated slyly, sending a secretive wink Sebastian's way over Lizzie's shoulder.

* * *

Later that night, when Lizzie had gone home and it was just about time for the Young Earl to retire for the evening, Sebastian entered Ciel's study. "Bocchan, it's time for—."Ciel was crumpling a piece of paper and quickly hid it behind his back. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Oh, Ciel!" he sang. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing. It's none of your lousy business, demon. I'm tired. Get me ready for bed." Sebastian walked across the room to Ciel's chair and bent down so he was level with the boy.

"As you wish, My Lord." The butler scooped Ciel and carried him down the corridor bridal-style, entered the Master's bedroom, tossed him onto the bed, and climbed on top of him in one swift movement.

"Sebastian, that is not the proper way to treat your Young Master, tossing him about like that," Ciel tried to scold sternly, but ended up giggling.

"I don't think I've ever heard you laugh like that before, Young Lord."

"At times like this, you can call me Ciel," the boy chuckled softly before pulling his butler down by the tie into a warm kiss. Ciel wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. Sebastian ran his hands down the smaller boy's petite frame. Ciel rolled over on top of Sebastian and brushed his raven hair from his face with a gentle stroke. He stared into the crimson that made his heart waver with every blink. He didn't know where he would be if this pair of ruby eyes hadn't spotted his withering soul. He marveled in Sebastian's eyes a bit longer as Sebastian silently marveled in his.

"_This blue… I want to drown in it. This is the color of sorrow, with a touch of hatred, melancholy blended in evenly complete with an aura of pride and determination. There's a gleam of fearlessness in these eyes. I hunger for this blue. And one day this craving will be satisfied, and that blue will be lost forever. Is losing this blue really worth a meal?"_

Sebastian's thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of Ciel's tongue prying into his mouth. Sebastian hugged him close, breathing in his scent. The two continued their affair for a bit longer until Ciel sighed, satisfied, and rolled off of Sebastian. The two lie next two each other on Ciel's massive bed, staring at the ceiling. "Let's get your night clothes on, Young Master."

Ciel stood up and held out his arms. Sebastian kneeled in front of him. First he undid his ribbon; skillfully tied into a bow from around his neck, which his neatly folded and placed on the bed. Next the butler removed his outer shirt, nimbly undoing the buttons with such speed and dexterity. That was also neatly folded and placed on the bed, along with Ciel's undershirt. Ciel tensed up when Sebastian unzipped his pants. _"He's done it over 100 times, but now it just feels… different. Weird different." _Ciel thought to himself. Suddenly, Ciel was standing in nothing but his underwear. Sebastian grabbed the neatly folded pile of clothing and went to the wardrobe to fetch the Young Earl's nightclothes.

"Arms up," Sebastian instructed as he slipped the gown over the boy's little blue head. Ciel slipped his eye patch from his face and plopped it on the night table next to his bed. Sebastian tucked the boy safely into his bed, and then whispered into his ear, "By the way, your schedule is clear for tomorrow… if you wanted, we could… do something."

Ciel sleepily nodded his head. "Absolutely. That would be delightful." Sebastian planted one final kiss on the young boy's lips just as he drifted off to sleep. He blew out the candle that had been dimly illuminating the room, and silently exited.

* * *

In the corridor, the butler looked both ways to make sure nobody was lingering, and then plucked a crumpled paper from his pocket. Sebastian smiled upon opening and observing it. "Oh, Young Master," he sighed happily. He slipped the paper back into his pocket, then strode down the hall to his room.

Sebastian lie awake in bed, staring at the crumpled paper he held carefully in his hands. "I never know the Young Master had such a talent for drawing," he thought aloud. On the abused paper, a sketch resided. A young boy sat in a field holding hands with a man whose hair was blacker than the night. Sebastian smirked. "I think I know where I'll take him tomorrow."

* * *

**Yeah, so that's that :p Sorry it took a bit of time to update, I've been excruciatingly busy with school. But it's spring break at the moment :D I hope to get at least one more chapter squeezed in this week before I head back to the good ol' daily grind:/ If you would, lemme know what you think about this chappie, it would be greatly appreciated~:D**


End file.
